Stay Away From Telling Trampoline Stories
Stay Away From Telling Trampoline Stories
If you tell a trampoline story to your audience they will remember you for all the wrong reasons. A trampoline story is a story that lacks direction and jumps all over the place.
These kinds of stories are difficult to follow, make a speaker sound like an incompetent storyteller, and cause the audience to lose interest.
Let’s examine traits of trampoline stories, so you can do the opposite and insights on how you can tell a non trampoline story. You want to tell the right kind of stories and trampoline stories are on the wrong side of wrong.
NOTE: The story example is an incomplete fragment that starts at the beginning and is exaggerated to include traits to avoid in your stories. The ‘. . .’ indicates a content cutoff gap.
Traits of the Trampoline Story vs. Story
Trampoline Version
- Confusing to follow
- Bounces all over the place
- No/ minimal setup and context
- Abrupt or confusing transitions
- Convoluted timeline with too many jumps forward or backward in time
- Too many jumps between places
- Too many jumps between characters
- Listing things instead of explaining and showing things
- Story focuses on too many random things
Story Version
• Easy to follow
• Linear flow
• setup and context
• seamless transitions
• simple straightforward timeline
• few places
• few characters
• showing what happens through scenes, character action, and dialogue
• Story has 1 main focus
Comparing Trampoline Version vs. Story Version
TRAMPOLINE
I took the rental car to the hotel. Wait, first I met with Zannigan. Let me tell you the time he saved a pork roast at his company’s summer BBQ . . .
I’m back at the hotel room after I went to the dry cleaners, but before I went to bank on the way back from Keldo Business Complex. Earlier I did finally call the client, Mr. Johann so later on we would finally meet. By the way, I forget to tell you the airport lost my luggage and later the hotel put me in the wrong room. Zannigan helped me out. Also Mr. Johann was on a boat and I had train tickets . . .
Before our meeting I went to the aviary. Quick side story. Let me tell you about the time I fell into a flamingo exhibit at a zoo . . .
Later we went to a horse race, a dog race, and Zannigan ran in race. We discussed business over lunch, his office and again later that evening at the casino in-between our time at Keldo Business Complex. But at midday my company asked how things were going with Mr. Johann . . .
STORY
I’m sitting in my hotel room on a business trip wearing a suit preparing to meet Mr. Johann who is considering installing our cooling systems at his restaurant chains. I look at the company credit card and think, ‘how much will it cost to entertain this guy?’ He loves mixing leisure and work. My phone rings, “Mr. Johann, yes, I’ll meet you at the horse track.”
I show up at the horse track and Mr. Johann greets me in jeans, polo, and visor. He shakes my hand. “Let’s place some bets and grab a bit to eat.” He smells of mint julep . . .
In the noisy congested bleachers in between a horse race while Mr. Johann is getting another mint julep my boss calls. “How are things going Mr. Johann, will he use our cooling system?”
“I’ll show him the presentation and get to Keldo Business Complex eventually.”
“What do you mean eventually?”
“It will be okay. Mr. Johann acts like he’s on vacation. We’re going to the casino later and he still wants me to take a ride in his boat.”
The main problem with trampoline stories is the story lacks a flow and a focus with the speaker’s ideas flying in every direction.
When you hear a trampoline story you have to recover afterwards from the mental dizziness caused by the story’s verbal vertigo.
Commentary on improvement
- The Trampoline Version bounces all bounce all over the place, whereas the Story Version has a linear flow.
- No context is given in the Trampoline Version. We don’t know the reason for the trip and what’s happening between the speaker and Mr. Johann. Context in the Story Version explains the speaker is on a business trip and Mr. Johann treats business like vacation.
- The character Zannigan in the Trampoline Version only distracted from the story. Eliminating the character in the Story Version puts the focus on the speaker and Mr. Johann. In general fewer characters make the story easier to follow for an audience.
- The Trampoline Version side stories (Zannigan pot roast and the flamingo exhibit) distract from the business trip. The Story Version makes the story about the business trip.
- In the Trampoline Version the speaker mixes both related and unrelated details. The revised Story Version is more focused on the relationship between the speaker and Mr. Johann. The details presented make the audience wonder, ‘Will Mr. Johann sign for the new cooling system.”
- The pace of constant changing of ideas in every sentence in the Trampoline Version makes you want to say, “Slow down. What you are talking about?” The speaker never has a time to develop a thought beyond one sentence. The slower pace in the Story Version allows the story to develop an idea beyond one sentence. Each sentence builds upon the previous sentences to create the story world.
- The Trampoline Version’s multiple tangents flying in every direction denies the story’s focus, whereas the Revised Story Version elimination of tangents gives the story focus.
- The Trampoline Version listed things that happen. The Story Version shows the story with scenes, character action, and dialogue.
- In the Trampoline Version the speaker jumps to something different in every sentence (rental car, hotel, Zannigan, summer BBQ, hotel, dry cleaner, bank…) In the Story Version the speaker creates specific scenes with the hotel and the horse track. This slower space both lets the story to develop and develop the speaker’s relationship with Mr. Johann.
Other story styles to avoid and suggestions for storytelling improvement:
Don’t Give Your Audience Indigestion with Hotdog Stories
Don’t Tire Your Audience with a 100lb Suitcase Story
Would you like to transform your storytelling abilities then contact Nate.